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Saturday, June 14, 2003

the day before my week starts again and i'm still sick from last week. blowing and coughing up all this crap in my body i wish i was getting all the shit out of my brain too. can't stop thinking. about mom about dad, father's day is tomorrow. it seems that for those of us with *distant* relationships with their dads can't forget about father's day...maybe that's just me. father's day father's day father's day. fuck it.
it's too hot outside and it's making me crazy. "they" say heat as in the temperature ie summer in new orleans increases aggression in people. lately i've just felt depressed. D made a silly sarcastic joke to me and i almost cried. R just doesn't know what do to. R is my love my best friend my roomie the other mom to my cats. Sometimes R is clueless. i love her just the same. but it's damn hot and the ac's on full and i'm in my underwear in front of the computer sniffle-ing with a virus i should have gotten in january when i was off anyway because now i work full time and there is no replacement for me and i feel responsible and i have to wake up 2 hours before the sun does and i'm pissed at the injustice of the world and my life and yours because it sucks that we live this way. that i live this way and i'm sick and it's harder to see the other side when i'm too tired to shower or smile at my friends.

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